So I've been thinking a lot lately about what is going to change when the baby finally comes.
Everyone (who knows) always asks, are you going to go back to work? How long are you taking off? Who's going to watch the baby?
The answer to all these questions is I HAVE NO IDEA. hahahaha.
I want to take off as long as possible, but I think I'll still want to work every now and again. Part of me wants to be a stay at home mom, part of me wants to work part-time and part of me thinks I'll just go back to full time. How do you decide? Is anyone else perplexed by this decision? I'm only in my 9th week. I wonder how many times my mind is going to change before I actually have to make a decision. I have an idea now, but my thoughts are, just roll with it and see what happens.
It's also interesting getting the questions, are you going to do it naturally? Are you going to breastfeed? What's your birth plan? For the record I had no idea what a birth plan was until I saw a woman read hers on youtube. She was very particular. It almost freaked me out. Again, I HAVE NO IDEA! :) I want to try and go naturally, but I'm not against epidurals, I definitely want to breastfeed, but some people say it's just impossible. Birth plan? How about just make sure my baby comes out healthy. Do whatever you have to do, but then I hear the woman (on youtube) say definitely no (if you're a guy you may want to stop reading now) episiotomy. Gross. I wonder, why definitely no episiotomy? I didn't even know that was an option. What are the pros and cons. Sometimes I wish I could just look up, "best way to give birth with all the right answers". I guess everyone does though. As of now, I have no stance on the yes or no of an episiotomy. We'll see if pregnancy sways me either way in the future.
I think one of my problems is I refuse to read ahead in the baby books. I'm so scared that I'm going to jinx myself. Trust me, I know it's ridiculous, but it's just a weird thing for me. I also refuse to buy anything for the baby yet. I won't even get a curtain for the future baby room. Maybe in 3 weeks when I reach the 2nd trimester. Or maybe I just need to hear that little heartbeat one more time. That was amazing. I wish I could hear it everyday! I have time though. I'll figure it out. Everyone says time flies, but right now it's at a snail's pace.
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