Oh....Hello

So here I am, it's 1:45pm and I'm sitting on my unmade bed finally writing a blog post after two months!  Have I ever gone this long before? Possible, but I'm too lazy to look :)

Have I told you the news? I'm a stay at home mom - OFFICIALLY. WTF!

I think I'm pretty blessed as I have a job that thinks I'm worth keeping around so technically I am still employed and I'm a "casual employee". I work when they need me/when I have time.  I love what I do and everyone I work with, so I'm pretty happy with the situation. It was kind of stressful in the beginning because I was wondering when exactly I would be having time to work, but it's going well so far!

I had these huge plans of blogging my first day as a stay at home mom. I searched and searched about women who went from working to being a SAHM and couldn't find too much.  Want to know why??? We have no time. :)

I have read so so so many articles about being a working mother and a SAHM. Both are easy, both are hard, both judge each other. Let me know what you'd like to read about and I'll send you an article. They are all out there.

Do I love this? Sometimes :) Do I hate this? Sometimes :) Am I happy I'm doing it? 95% of the time.

Here is a typical day:

(sidenote: - for those of you who don't know I have a 2 year old little boy and 3 1/2 year old little lady)

Wake up around 7am. We go downstairs and eat breakfast. I unload the dishwasher while they eat every morning and I turn on the news because I noticed that when the TV is completely off, all they do is ask for a show. When the TV is on, they eat, then go in the playroom and play together.

I have finally gotten to the point where they watch no TV (of their own) until after nap. Sometimes I'll put on a show before lunch just so I can have 5 seconds to make something in peace.

Back to the day - So hubby leaves for work around 8am. At that time I get dressed (in workout clothes) and get the kids dressed to be out the door around 9am. I do a spin class at the local YMCA every day from 930 - 1015. EVERY DAY! I need it. I LOVE IT! and it's the only place I can work out and bring my kids to be watched.

So after work out we normally have an errand or two to run. We go to Wegman's or the dry cleaners or somewhere and we get home around 11-1130am.

Then it's lunchtime. Lunch around 1130 - 12pm.  Directly after lunch is naptime. One thing I am very thankful for is both kids still nap. They don't even fight it. They ask to go night-night after they are done eating.

Naptime is normally from about 1230 - 230pm.  (my daughter is now sitting next to me watching Paw Patrol as I finish typing this - it's 1;56pm).

During naptime I shower and clean something in the house. Today it was the basement. I didn't even clean up lunch because I needed as much time as I could to clean the basement and shower before someone got up.

After naptime I have them play or watch a movie. We do storytime sometimes. I hate the winter because we are stuck inside a lot. I take them to the park if it's warm. We went to playdium in downingtown one day to get out of the house.  I recently joined a playgroup as well that has fun things for the kids.

We have played music with the local retirement home, had different play dates, went to the local My Gym. It's nice. I'm still getting to know everyone, but we're getting there.

I start to cook dinner around 4-430pm. Kids eat first and DH doesn't normally get home until 630. So I've been cooking second dinner for us to eat together when he gets home.

I struggle every day with my patience, but I have to admit... I'm learning :) I'm learning what works and what doesn't and we make progress. There are also days when I just lose it. I was dropping them off at the YMCA two Fridays ago and to make a long story short I just burst into tears when I got there.

Wow, this post is way longer than I expected, but that is what happens when you wait so long to write I guess.

I think my biggest struggles are that I feel extremely guilty if I complain. I feel like I'm being judged all the time and I feel like I'm never DONE, like the house is NEVER fully clean. The second I clean it, they destroy it. Did I ever mention I have control issues? Well, we will just have to keep working on it.

In Other News: Emma had her second ballet recital. I loved it and enjoyed the fact she barely had any of the steps down :)  Matthew is talking to where I can understand him 90% of the time and he loves to sing. It's adorable.

I miss my mom like crazy and all I want to do is ask her advice 2,493 times a day. I'm trying to allow myself to be sad more and not feel guilty about talking about being sad. Can't say it's easy, but what the heck is these days?

Christmas is in 3 DAYS!

I guess I should end it here, because I'm starting to rant and get scatter-brained and maybe I'll have something to write about later in the week.

Until next time..........

Dear Matthew...

Dear Matthew,

You're two! My baby is two. You are the most cookie cutter little boy I could ever imagine to exist. You love rocks, dirt, climbing, wrestling, and pretty much just being a complete daredevil in everything you do.

You love animals!! You take your elephant in the bath with you, you sleep next to your tiger, and you can't walk past a giraffe without a smile.

You also love to sing and dance, which makes me happier than you can ever imagine. It's crazy to hear how much you talk already!! and I can't get through one page of a book anymore without you saying "what's that?, what's that?, what's that?"

My favorite phrases include "thank you mommy, I love you mommy, and where's Emma?"   If don't have your sister in your sights you need to know why and you aren't happy about it. She is your favorite person it seems and every time I hear you yell "come here Emma" I melt just a little bit.

You are still my little momma's boy and could probably sit in my lap 24 hours a day if allowed. I love your hugs and kisses, maybe not your scratches and punches so much, but we're working on it. :)

We are entering the world of tanturms and I think I may have been a little easy on the discipline with you, but again, we're working on it.

You eat a lot better than your sister does. You like rice, corn on the cob and all of the regular kid stuff as well. You get really upset if I cut up your food these days and I would stop if you would learn how to take one bite at a time.

You still sit through Frozen like it's in style but Aladdin seems to have caught your attention as well.

You love to read books. It's one of your favorite things to do and you already know the words to Goodnight Moon and always fill in for the old lady whispering "HUSH".

Daddy and I love you more than words and your sister adores you with everything she has.

Thanks for being our little bruiser boy. Happy Birthday Chewy (tomorrow)!!!

Love,
Mommy

P-I-T-T Let's go PITT

This past weekend DH and I went back to where it all began!!! PITTSBURGH BABY!

We left on Friday morning and took the long 5 hour drive down the turnpike to get to the city where we fell in love.

Driving into Oakland gave me a sense of nostalgia that never goes away.  We spent Friday walking the campus, having dinner at my favorite restaurant and having a few drinks.

Saturday Morning it was Game Time - PITT VS. PENN STATE!  We thought it was going to be rainy, but it turned out to be a beautiful day. Although we had to tailgate with some of our friends who were Penn State Fans (boooooo!) we had such a great time and ended up meeting up with some other friends after the game as well.

The ride home wasn't as fun, but taking two days away, just the two of us, was definitely welcome and very very fun!

 

Matthew is growing up! :(

So last week, my cousin came and stayed with us. We were sitting down having a nice chat and I happened to glance at the monitor......Matthew was not in his crib.  At first I assume he has huddled into a corner for the night, which wouldn't be crazy, but as I scan the camera all around, all I see is a little foot leaving the screen area out of sight.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Running upstairs with a slight scream, I catch Matthew as he is on top of his changing table about to descend his crib head first onto the floor.

Then it hits me....he needs a toddler bed.

Am I ready for this?  Well, ready or not, we did it on Saturday. It's official, I have no cribs in my house any more. WAHHHHHHHHH,HHHH!

If I look at these past 3 nights objectively, I would say he's doing very very well. He's gotten up several times, but normally goes right back down for another few hours.

Last night after I put him down, he made it to 1:30am. He woke up and cried for me, then after I put him back down he slept until 6am. I'd say that's pretty good. I added an additional nightlight to his room, because for some reason when he wakes up, he immediately turns off his air purifier, which also acts as a night light, so his room would get pitch black.  I have no idea why he does that, but the good news is, I know this is just a phase, and he'll eventually grow out of it. Like I said, he's doing well and I have to remind myself it could be A LOT WORSE!

Diner en Blanc was AMAZING! I found a $10 dress at Kohls and had such an amazing time with my friend. It was at the Philadelphia Art Museum, right on the steps. I'm hoping this isn't my last time.

I haven't done much for the big #2 birthday yet, besides send out invitations. I have no idea what I'm serving or how I'm decorating. Fortunately, I don't think he'll care too much, as long as there is cake.

Emma just started in her Preschool room at school.  I have to admit, it was kind of sad dropping her off today. New teacher and new friends, none of her other friends that started with her were there yet. I know she'll be fine, but if this is how I feel for preschool, I have no idea how I'm going to make it through sending her to an actual school!!!!!

This morning Emma woke up around 545. I brought her into bed with me and even turned off my alarm for workout. I decided a kiddie snuggle was what I was interested in this morning. It was so nice to take my time in the morning with the kids and not rush. I need to do that more and hopefully I will be able to more at some point. Even when Matthew was freaking out, I knew why, and he had a point. (we didn't have normal breakfast stuff because I'm trying not to go shopping before Labor day). So we worked with what we had and he got over it. (graham cracker for breakfast anyone?)

I love my babies. I love my husband. I'm lucky to have someone that I miss when they are gone.

I'm lucky to have a BFF who's also my dear diary when I'm being weird. Because I am weird.....often :)

Well, that was all over the place, but so is life....Until next time :)

Summer - It's love/hate

I feel like summer is coming to an end, even though it's been over 100 degrees this past week.

It's already halfway through AUGUST!!!!

This weekend is my family weekend at the lake house...sister, brother, father, families all attending. Should be interesting??? AND FUN! I'm hoping we can do a little swimming, s'mores making, and laughing. That's really all I need.

Thursday I'm going to DINER EN BLANC in philly with my friend Devon. I'M SO FREAKING EXCITED!  I'm been wanting to go to this dinner for like 3 years, Google it, you'll get obsessed!

And then there is the big thing - MY BABY IS TURNING 2 NEXT MONTH!!!! WTF!

My baby  - is turning - 2!!!!! WTF!

My baby is turning 2.......wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Ok, moving on, party planning needs to start and DH officially thought of the perfect theme for our little monster - LIONS AND TIGERS AND BEARS, OH MY!

We are also trying to plan a family trip to the zoo too for his birthday. Matthew is obsessed with animals right now and Emma was only at the zoo when she was like 5 months old and she loves animals too. I have daydreams of a perfect trip to the zoo with my two perfect children having fun and being well behaved and gracious and loving it.............sure - it'll definitely be just like that ;)

On another note, I came to this inner epiphany the other day.  I've really been feeling overwhelmed this past year. I've been feeling like I can't handle everything and I've been emotionally and mentally kind of not as strong as usual. I was driving to daycare two days ago and all the sudden a light bulb went off....I though, wait a minute, my mom just died.  Then part of me was like, that doesn't have anything to do with work or home or my own emotions......................right?

Nope, probably has everything to do with everything. She was my sounding board. The person I told EVERYTHING to, the person who gave me extremely unbiased motherly advice. She called me every day and she genuinely wanted me to be happy in every aspect of my life. I am not really sure what any of this means, but maybe, just maybe, I should start giving myself a little credit and a little more time to figure it all out in this new way of life.

These next few weeks are going to be tough, but that's ok. They are also going to be awesome. Birthdays, Zoos and Dinners - OH MY!

Until next time :)

100!!!

Today I went to my 100th Fit Body class.

I may not have lost much weight yet, but I've definitely gained strength and energy.

I used to be so tired in the afternoons during work, but after I started my workout, it's definitely gotten easier to make it through the day without an IV for coffee.

When I started, I couldn't do 1 real pushup....not even 1!!!

Now, I can do a great set of 5, a good set of 10, and an attempt at 20.

I can do exercises that I never though I would even try and I've made some great friends along the way.

I'm "working" on the diet nutrition part of it, but slow and steady wins the race.

I also just got about 11 inches cut off my hair. I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!  My hair grows really fast and I know I've had 1 or 2 posts in the past about cutting my hair. I just love short hair and how easy it is to wash, style, etc.  still long enough for a pony, but short enough for comfort.

I know I look pissed in my pic at the bottom, but really I'm just trying not to smile.

Anyway, I don't want to get too crazy on the long blog posts just yet, so until next time..........

Back to Basics

Well Hello There!

It's been so long since I've posted and so much has happened.

My children are growing up soooo fast! Matthew is officially almost using complete sentences and every time he does, DH and I just look at each other in disbelief.  He will go "I wanna snack Mommy" or "Where daddy go?" Obviously his pronunciation needs work, but HE'S NOT EVEN 2!!!

I'm so focused on that and I think it's so funny. He's almost 2, but still only 1. I think every parent does that with their youngest at the time. Tries to keep them young forever!!!

Emma is just a little sweetheart these days too. True, she has her moments, but I feel like she is just turning into the cutest little caretaker with Matthew. She shares with him and gets so upset if he cries.

She's been having some trouble waking up early, so we bought a "Ok to Wake, OWL". Now she can't go to sleep without it. Her nighttime routine is getting so structured and I think she loves it more than we do sometimes.  We got her a princess toothbrush and toothpaste, so now that is a MUST, which is awesome.  We read 3 books and we pray. Than after everything she says "can we snuggle and cuddle for a little bit"...........i mean i guess i will :) :)  :)

I never thought I would be praying with my three year old every night. It's not something that I take too seriously or make long or too structured, but it's something that she actually likes to do and it certainly can't hurt anything.

Matthew is my champion though. Bathtime, Book, Bed......LIKE A FREAKIN BOSS! Rarely he will wake up and need a cuddle in the middle of the night, but it's so rare that I actually kind of like it sometimes. Let's not get crazy though.  His nickname is still sticking like glue  - CHEWY!!! I love my little chewables.

The "are they twins" questions have officially started since he is only about 3 inches shorter than Emma now.

Their diets aren't perfect, but they love fruit and green vegetables. Apparently Matthew now has an appetite for almonds as well. all i think is CHOKING HAZARD, but what else is new.

DH and I are working like crazy.  We don't tend to our outside home aesthetics as much as we should, but I'm ok with that being a low priority right now. .Grass is cut, house stays clean (with help) and my kids are happy. Seeing weeds out the window could be worse.

We had our annual beach vacation and Matthew and Emma LOVED IT. We had treats every night and sand and sun every day. They loved the waterpark and it just made me happy to see their smiling faces.

I love writing my blog. I need to do it more. It's a release and it's always nice to reflect on the good times that are flying by so fast.

Until next time..........